Geography

G’day!

Recently I’ve had some interesting conversations with friends and unnamed colleagues which reminded me of a shock I had upon arrival in Gladstone.

A lot of people don’t know what Scotland is or where the UK is.

I’ll claim ignorance if many, many countries around the world are mentioned and a lot of what I do know is thanks to football. So considering of this I thought, well ok, that’s all continents away so ok fair enough.

But wait a minute, the history of Australia is pretty involved with that of Britain, how weird they don’t know the basic layout. The difference between the United Kingdom, Britain and the British Isles – again, fair enough, it’s all a bit of a mess. Here are the ones that surprised me:

1. Surprise that the UK is an island (and a bit)
2. Confusion that Scotland isn’t Ireland

3. Puzzlement that Scotland isn’t part of England

4. Bewilderment that UK is part of Europe

 

for those unsure

 

These were the views of quite a few otherwise intelligent people. Quite a surprise.

To share the knowledge (and show myself up for where I’m clueless) here are a few details on the 7 states of Australia.

 

Queensland (QLD)
My home state, Queensland. From the skyscrapers, bikies and surf of the Gold Coast up to top tip of Oz, Cape York and inland to… ok, I don’t know too much about the inland; QLD is a beautiful and most sparse place.

Most well known as the home of the Great Barrier Reef. We’re not totally killing it, honest.

Capital: Brisbane

Whithaven Beach, half way up QLD

Northern Territory (NT)
Sweaty. Not made it there yet. Told I could maybe get work there if I wanted but I’d possibly actually die. It’s about 30+ degC every day, all year. I struggle enough down in Gladstone.

A lot of Indigenous towns. I won’t get in to that controversial history here.

Oh yeah, Ayers Rock is there too, beside Alice Springs. That big red rock you see surrounded by nothing. That.

Capital: Darwin

 

 

Western Australia (WA)
The home of FIFO (Fly In Fly Out) work. Working shifts are like those working on the rigs in the North Sea - 2 on 2 off, 3 and 1, whatever. The real centre of the mining boom Australia has experienced the last decade. The pace has dropped off the past year but there’s still a fair bit of work going on out there.

I hope to get over there one day but for pleasure not work. The Kimberley’s are meant to be stunning, it’s just so far away. A mate has been diving with sharks too, which sounds… interesting.

Capital: Perth, supposedly the most isolated city in the world

 

 

South Australia (SA)

I know very little about SA other than it has wine regions (Borassa Valley maybe? Trying not to google things after abusing people for not knowing things.) and the capital gets mocked with the name Radelaide.

Capital: Adelaide

 

 

Victoria (VA)

I visited for a week in winter last year. Had to wear jeans during the day on a whole 3 or 4 occasions. I was mainly in Melbourne which is an exciting city, full of street art, food and Footy matches (which is Aussie Rules in that state). It hosts events such as the Grand Prix, Australian tennis open and umpteen arty events including an attempt at the Oz version of Edinburgh fringe.

Also home of the waddling Fairy penguin at Phillip Island (recommended).

Capital: Melbourne
 

Fairy Penguins

New South Wales (NSW)
Home of Sydney. There’s a bit of a theme that I haven’t got far out of city centres (other than in QLD) but I did get out to the Blue Mountains to bushwalk about the Three Sisters (which is not only a pub in Edinburgh). Hoping to see more of the state in the next few months. New Years Eve is about as wild as you’d expect there too.

Capital: Sydney

 

First sight from the train

 

Tasmania (TA ? I’m not sure)
That island that people don’t think of if they’re asked to sketch Australia. Since 12,000 years ago it’s been it’s own island. From what I’ve heard it’s a pretty Scottish-on-steroids climate. They have real hard time with bushfire and economically doesn’t have any of that mining action. But what they miss out they make for with beautiful scenery. Hopefully I’ll make it over one day.

Capital: Hobart

Dammit, there’s a whole thing with Territories too. Too much to get in to for now but the AUSTRALIAN capital city is Canberra which is in nowhere Australian Capital Territory (ACT). Melbourne and Sydney fight over who is most important so they built a city that no one wanted to house a parliament and filled it with roundabouts. As you do.

Cya!

Birds

G’day!

Spring has started. To understand what this means in Australia, think of a perfect, near rainless summer and 75% of your neighbors’ lawns are turgid brown.

What this also means is that Magpies have just had their young. Previously I’ve just considered this a problem to cyclists (wait till you see their solution) but I’m becoming acutely aware that pedestrians are in danger too. Just on Friday, Ness (gf) was attacked outside her own home, jabbed right in the heid. 

It turns out that along the stretch of road where Ness stays, there are a little group of Magpies intent on terrorising anyone who wants to enter or exit their home. This means that any visit (during day time) involves a rapid ascent up the vertical driveway and a mad dash in to the house.

On arrival to Gladstone I was given a lend of a bike until I got my own form of transport. The guys told me about vicious streak of Magpies and presented me with a customised helmet (helmets are mandatory by law - not the daft look, just helmets in general). Being sure that this was some sort of roasting of the new guy, I tucked in the ties and went on my way.

After an half an hour of cycling, the ties were restored to their wiry glory. The buggers really don’t like people! They start by dive bombing you whilst shrieking in your ear; if you don’t magically disappear they then start going kamikaze. As I didn’t have a car for my first 6 months in Oz, these guys were a real pain.

Below is a quick grab from google of a Magpie going in for the kill.

Here is a whistle-stop tour of other birds local to Central Queensland/Australia.

Rainbow Lorikeet – the Gladstone equivalent of a pigeon. In my first few days here these really made me realise I was in a very different part of the world (easy to forget sometimes, due to the shared language and – to a degree – culture).

Kookaburra – another favourite. Something about their oversized heads. Took me far too long that the monkey-like sound I would awake to each day was actually the wake up call of the Laughing Kookaburra.

Galah - these guys are common around here too. Easy going birds, no monkey noises, no assaults.

Bush Turkeys – on my first morning in Australia I was chasing these guys down the street at 5am in Brisbane city centre (the capital of Queensland), much to the bemusement of the locals.

Ibis – plenty of them around Gladstone but I mainly think of them stealing from BBQs around Brisbane parks.

And that’s the most interesting of them. It gives Montrose Basin a run for its money!

Medals

G'day,

So I'm not sure what way to do this so the posts will probably be scattered all over the place depending on what I feel like writing about. Today that is... medals! 

A couple of weeks ago we had our 'soccer' finals for the year. I was taking part in the mighty Gladstone Men's Second Division final. My team (Gladstone United, who play in blue which feels dirty and wrong) had an erratic season which included late winners and clutching defeats from the jaws of victories. With a month to go we already lost our chance at winning the league but were in to the playoffs for the league final. 

Anyway, it was a weird, dramatic season but we took our place in the final against Yaralla Sports Club at their home ground. For such a low level of league, a fair amount of folk come along for the finals so we had a crowd of a couple of hundred or so. Probably beating the Montrose average attendance unless they're playing grubs from Glasgow or Brechin (*wink*) or Arbroath. 

The game was a microcosm of the season and was all over the place. I play as a 'towering' centre back and was mercilessly outpaced for the first goal, which was painful to say the least. The game was back and forth, with the half time score at 2-2.

The score didn't change in the second half but not for a want of trying by the United boys, who were extremely unlucky not to score in two goal mouth scrambles. Alas, the match went to extra time.

I forget to mention that this was the week that winter banished itself and switched directly to summer. The temperature was bloody hot and our game was at 2pm. Since you start warming up an hour before, we were out in the sun for almost 4 hours, roasting. For every second of extra time I just wanted to lie down. Literally lie down on the pitch, not even sub off, I was right buggered.

Thankfully, everyone on the park seemed to feel the same way so there was only so much running to do. I did have one sprint back from attack and cleaned up the fella who embarrassed me in the first half. The crowd roared and that little pitch in Queensland felt like Hampden to me. I think it's safe to say that it will be my peak sporting achievement and it's likely all downhill from there.

So no more goals. Which means a penalty shoot out. I could have never imagined that I'd be in such a situation but it happened. I didn't go forward for a penalty in the first five, mainly because I think I'd give my teammates heart scares (my performances can be slightly erratic themselves). In short, we lost 5-4. Our keeper was unlucky, touching one of their penalties but not quite getting enough on it. Our fella hit a strong shot on target but unfortunately high enough that their keeper could palm it away. 

For all our efforts we got to stand about in front of the crowd as speeches were made and we got our consolation medals. All I wanted was a beer.

I'd also played (mostly back up) for the 1st division winners last season. I'm chuffed with the medals as for a long time I'd be impressed if I could make a 10 foot pass. My achievements were put down in the most blunt fashion the other day when a coworker (I'll be extremely embarrassed if she ever finds this) brought in her Olympic medal! She got bronze at the London Olympics in Water Polo for Australia. 

Yeah... maybe we'll do better next season.

G'day

G’day,

Seeing as it’s just over 2 years since I made it to Oz, I thought I’d pull my finger out and put a few words and pics together so you can see what I’ve been up to.

I’ll get this out the way... I miss the lot of yis!

Bert xxx